tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-278809092011-04-21T23:35:36.668-04:00...in which our intrepid DVD rental store regular attempts to watch and review as many Full Moon titles as possible in the next 12 months....platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.comBlogger331100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-56275567795156352382006-11-10T18:20:00.000-05:002006-11-10T18:26:15.565-05:00

Fixed the link to Band's blog, which is now hosted at wordpress and actually works properly.Also, added a link to a site called Band Fans which is really well done and has a kickass Tim Thomerson banner!Evil Bong should be at my local Hollyshit Video soon, so look for a review of that and a few new VHS tapes I bought the other day...On a final note, if you collect any of the Full Moon toys, check

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-1162512502573003792006-11-02T18:54:00.000-05:002006-11-07T18:13:00.343-05:00

2 out of 5 full moons Petrified is Charles Band's latest attempt at comic book-y camp-y horror. The premise fits well within the Full Moon family: during a botched artifact sale by some shady hustlers, the blood of an old guy leaks onto the mummified remains of an alien, resurrecting said alien, who chases one of the hustlers back to a nympho-rehab center. The final product is not good. Not funny

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-1153783602290149452006-07-24T19:20:00.000-04:002006-11-02T20:17:34.461-05:00

Petrified is now slated for a September 26th release. The trailer is online here. The Evil Bong trailer is here. EB is gonna come out October 26th. No mention of Cutter's Club.I participated in my first "horror roundtable" over at the horror blog. As is evidenced by the 40+ fan emails I received following my masterful exposition, I was the clear winner. :)A question has been rolling in my skull:

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-1153349164834848062006-07-19T18:43:00.000-04:002006-11-02T20:19:18.029-05:00

4 out of 5 full moonsOblivion and Oblivion 2 are easily the best non-R-rated Full Moon flicks I've seen.Backlash picks up where the first ended: Zach is the new sheriff, his friends Stella (Meg Foster) and Buteo (Jimmie F. Skaggs) are his deputies, Lash is still teamed up with dumb-but-strong Irwin Keyes (yes, Jaws from James Bond), and so on, and so on.It's a scifi western, love triangle,

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-1152567655908751502006-07-10T17:31:00.000-04:002006-11-02T20:19:00.963-05:00

3 out of 5 full moons Man, I was in the mood for this the other night! I had just come off a weekend of Asylum Films dreck, and Totem hit the spot. So, the following review is gonna be: why I liked this movie / why you won't.The plot follows a well-worn convention, by getting some kids (6, in this case) into a cabin in the woods on a dark and stormy night. What little originality there is

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-1152226389109345972006-07-06T18:42:00.000-04:002006-11-02T20:19:36.306-05:00

I've now seen over 30 Full Moon pics in about two months. Yes, that's 1 every 2 days. And, yes that is waaay too many for the average brain to handle. But, alas, my brain is stupid.Along the way, I've gone through periods of intense hatred for the Huckster, as well as times of admiration, fondness, and amazement. I've also gone through about a hundred bucks in rental fees, and now used VHS

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-1152225325155011712006-07-06T18:18:00.000-04:002006-11-02T20:20:29.310-05:00

2 out of 5 full moons.I've really gone and crapped on the toilet this time. You see, Alien Arsenal isn't just a Full Moon pic. It's part of the Full Moon-meets-Disney Channel-dreckfest that is Full Moon's ActionFX/PulsePounders line of PG-13 Dave DeCouteau films. I've been dreading watching these ever since I started this stupid blog. The only reason I'm steering away from a one-rating, is the

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-1152222832155542322006-07-06T17:27:00.000-04:002006-11-02T20:21:06.994-05:00

3 out of 5 full moons. In Trancers 4, we find Jack returning to the future (his present). He's got Shark's head as a lampshade now, and instead of a Trancer-hunter, he's now a timecop. Big whoop.There seems to be a disturbance in the time continuum in Kansas and so Jack climbs into his little phone booth looking time-machine. He gets accosted by an alien and is sent, instead, to some alternate

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-1151876653630153642006-07-02T17:27:00.000-04:002006-11-02T20:21:19.441-05:00

Trash City has a nice little review retrospective called Charles Band's Doll Squad in honor of The Huckster's visit to Phoenix in the fall...Note that the next Full Moon release, Petrified, is still in post-production, though The Huckster had previously slotted a June release for the undead-mummy flick. So, it looks like Petrified, then Cutter's Club, then Evil Bong...Skewed and Reviewed has

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-1151816862909512132006-07-02T00:51:00.000-04:002006-11-02T20:23:04.043-05:00

3 out of 5 full moonsA "3 full moons" is a bit harsh for this little Fred Olen Ray gem that spun nicely in my VCR last night. The flick is genuinely a "freak fest" and makeup efx guru Gabe Bartalos (of Basket Case fame!) does a ridiculously good job of making some gruesome and funny freaks with what must've been an itty-bitty budget.Besides the freaks, Sideshow has Phil Fondacaro going for it,

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-1151815824925625902006-07-02T00:38:00.000-04:002006-11-02T20:23:13.494-05:00

1 out of 5 full moonsI knew this would be bad going in: Dave DeCouteau directing a movie about a boy's school. He failed to disappoint. Voodoo Academy is now the worst Full Moon flick I've ever seen. Bar none.The plot is thus: hot, rich widower Mrs. Bouvier (the 2000's Full Moon girl, Debra Mayer) runs a college with a crackpot reverend because they want to sucker some young, "pure" guys into a

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-1151739847380824362006-07-01T03:00:00.000-04:002006-11-02T20:23:33.054-05:00

1. The Leprechaun series. Just imagine Phil Fondacaro as the limerick-spoutin' killer! It really would've fit the Full Moon franchise well. Just as Band was opening up to Alchemy Entertainment/Big City Pictures for their lame brand of "urban horror", Warwick Davis was goin' Back 2 tha Hood!2. The Silent Night, Deadly Night franchise. Hmmmm. It's 1984 and Charles Band's Empire Pictures is set to

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-1151736172398259192006-07-01T02:15:00.000-04:002006-11-02T20:24:26.897-05:00

1 out of 5 full moons An unscarier bad guy than Killjoy? A dumber premise than Dr. Bones? A more hackneyed script than Horrorvision? Has Dave DeCouteau directed the worst film of his softcore-horror career? Was Killer Eye really only 80 minutes long instead of the 4 hours of drivel it seemed? These questions and more on the next episode of Seizures from Boredom! What could've been a fun, campy

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-1151704631054604862006-06-30T17:39:00.000-04:002006-11-02T20:25:29.294-05:00

2 out of 5 full moons I've always considered T3 the weakest of the franchise, and upon re-viewing, I'm now convinced of this. Sure, 4 and 5 were "Romanian" Full Moons, but they had a bit more energy to them. With that said, Deth Lives is, of course, a must-watch for Full Moon fans, since this is really the franchise franchise. What this installment lacks in momentum, it more than makes up for in

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-1151535113623158732006-06-28T18:29:00.000-04:002006-11-02T20:26:14.180-05:00

3 out of 5 full moons Zette Sullivan is this monkey's banana: she absolutely nails Tim Thomerson's Jack Deth, in the latest and greatest entry into the Trancers franchise. Trancers 6 is less about wasting Trancers than it is about Thomersonesque one-liners. I'd give it a 4, but the plot's really pretty weak and the efx are less-than-TV quality. What Jay "used to be woeful" Woelfel does is turn

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-1150844004996341522006-06-20T18:24:00.000-04:002006-11-02T20:26:55.297-05:00

4 out of 5 full moons Just what I like to see in a post-90's Full Moon release: they really tried! The script is up to snuff - getting the film moving with a bang before we drop into character intros. The acting is enough to carry it along, and the sets and effects are great. Especially the effects! What we get with The Dead Hate the Living that you won't find on most post-Paramount Full Moon

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-1150811945558294512006-06-20T09:37:00.000-04:002006-11-02T20:28:37.083-05:00

3 out of 5 full moons So, Charles Band has released 3 movies under the new incarnation that is Full Moon Features cum Wizard Entertainment. All three are about 60 minutes long. All three have basically a single set. All three have minimal characters. And, of course, all three have small and marketable mini-killers: Marvin the Homunculus from the piss-poor Decadent Evil, the Busey-cookie from the

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-1150323024378553022006-06-14T17:55:00.000-04:002006-11-02T20:27:45.503-05:00

5 out of 5 full moons Since the series was originally planned as a trilogy, going into Bloodstorm I wasn't sure whether the fourth entry would be a useless appendage or a worthy contribution to the mythos. It was obvious there would have to be a fairly lengthy and complicated resurrection of Radu: he was convincingly offed in the finale of Bloodlust. Instead of complication we get absurdity. His

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-1150237873398695792006-06-13T18:14:00.000-04:002006-11-02T20:30:08.453-05:00

1 out of 5 full moons Let's just say that I recognize the sets from Killjoy. That's really all I need say about The Horrible Doctor Bones. It's horrible. There are no best quotes to share with you. There are no thoughts of giving this a 2-full moon rating simply because "they tried". They didn't. After reviewing these post-90's Full Moon films it's really easy to see why the company was failing.

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-1149629918081687722006-06-06T17:24:00.000-04:002006-11-02T20:30:59.201-05:00

4 out of 5 full moons Ok, so picking up right where we left off with Bloodstone, Bloodlust continues the story of blood-drooler Radu, lovely and newly-vampired Michelle, and Michelle's sister Rebecca. Also vampired up now is Liuetenant Marin. Radu continues to be the star of the series, but Michelle gains serious momentum in this film. She portrays a new vampire with an anxiety that seems

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-1149547413186324562006-06-05T18:27:00.000-04:002006-11-02T20:31:49.762-05:00

5 out of 5 full moons The question posed is this: if you are, say, 40 years old; have been chained to a wall your entire life; have been flogged daily when given your meal; and know nothing of humanity save for your twisted mother who has provided you this existence, what do you become? I'll ask an imaginary college class: Fair Ellen, who grew up in Pleasantville, who lost your virginity at

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-1149295851420198362006-06-02T20:25:00.000-04:002006-11-02T20:32:31.031-05:00

4 out of 5 stars So, with a minor hit on his hands, Band sends Ted Nicolaou back to Romania to film two more Subspecies flicks to complete a trilogy. Most of the first cast is unavailable, the notable exception being our boogieman Anders Hove (Radu). Presto!, and we get Bloodstone. The film picks up right where the first ends, and we get our first taste of Radu getting put back together (remember

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-1149207714250610882006-06-01T20:03:00.000-04:002006-11-02T20:33:13.252-05:00

2 out of 5 stars Jay Woelfel's Demonicus is a Full Moon-as-shot-on-video steaming pile. The plot is moronic, and the acting is so bad I cringed. Repeatedly. The saving grace of the production is not the dull pacing, nor the pitiful cave set, nor the dull bad guy, nor the one-dimensional victims; rather, it's the mountains. I gather the film was shot somewhere around Big Bear out there in

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-1148946869521724302006-05-29T19:37:00.000-04:002006-11-02T20:33:42.302-05:00

5 out of 5 stars Radu is the baddest vampire since Orlok. He's got wonderfully snaggly teeth, a filthy mother-of-pearl pallor, long creepy fingers, and three little devil beasties (the subspecies of Subspecies) to help him out. Even better, he spits out his dialogue in throaty demonic whispers. And, just as Orlok did, he staggers about like a gin drunk. Best Quote: Radu: "Such a touching tableau

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-1148502800562362212006-05-24T15:51:00.000-04:002006-11-02T20:34:26.300-05:00

1 out of 5 starsBig budget films that go through several scripts, several script rewrites, several directors, and several casts generally fail at the box office. Small budget films, as a rule, avoid this fate: they are usually directed and acted by the persons that dreamt them up. Horrorvision seems to be the microbudget exception to this rule. You can find references to the film littered

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-1147904968777623512006-05-17T18:13:00.000-04:002006-11-02T20:35:14.126-05:00

2 of 5 stars Another 2-star flick, this one part of the newer incarnation of Full Moon, called Full Moon Features, a subsidiary of Wizard Entertainment. Another 70-minute movie, if you count the long credits and the stock footage from Vampire Journals. The plot for Decadent Evil is easy enough to follow, since the whole plot is divulged in a boring series of plot dumps and throwaway scenes that

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-1147903872257380992006-05-17T17:54:00.000-04:002006-11-02T20:35:57.152-05:00

2 out of 5 stars Another Witchouse (this one, Blood Coven), another Romanian shoot. The film, like the first, is set in Covington county, MA, but was shot in and around Full Moon's Castel Studios in Bucharest. The "haunted house" exteriors is a local crematorium. Best Quote: Soderquist: "If Clark could only use the power in his nasal passages for good instead of evil..."Ok, so your question must

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-1147816475641005872006-05-16T17:23:00.000-04:002006-11-02T20:36:56.705-05:00

1 out of 5 stars Another evil clown movie. Why is Killjoy so special? Ah, here's the catch: we've got ourselves an "urban" evil clown movie. I guess "urban" means everybody's black, and the bad guys are wannabe-rapper, blunt-smokin' gang members. Geez, strike another drum for stereotypes... I especially enjoyed our high school heroes enjoying cocktails at nightclubs and living with their

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-1147730414755177422006-05-15T17:56:00.000-04:002006-11-02T20:37:46.699-05:00

5 out of 5 stars Six-shooter, Tunnel Sergeant, Dr. Death, Pinhead, Cyclops, and Blade help the young Andre Toulon take out Sutek's Egyption henchman in the best sequel this series has seen. Retro Puppet Master is atmospheric with many sets, quality acting and some fun puppet FX. What it lacks in gore, it makes up for with an interesting well-paced plot. Best Quote: Dr. Death: "Don't you know, my

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-1147720451940794912006-05-15T14:59:00.000-04:002006-11-02T20:38:37.651-05:00

Tagline: "Evil Beyond Evil..." 2 out of 5 stars I have a hard time with Dave DeCoteau movies, in general. Like most Albert Pyun suckfests, they drag, are confusing, and the gore is mishandled. Unfortunately, Witchouse is no different. Set in Dunwich, MA, the film was shot at Full Moon's Castel Studios in Romania. Exteriors were shot in and around Bucharest. Best Quote: Jack: "We're not in high

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-1147471899401931792006-05-12T17:34:00.000-04:002006-11-02T20:40:24.492-05:00

1 out of 5 stars Rented out 5 Full Moons last night and this is the first I watched. Tomb of Terror is an anthology of three "short" films which are actually 3 full length Full Moon films re-edited and "re-energized". Although the idea is neat, regular Full Moon viewers will be severely disappointed by the end product: 3 very chopped, almost incoherent shorts. The transfer to DVD is terrible. It

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-1147302785849229682006-05-10T18:45:00.000-04:002006-11-02T20:41:30.430-05:00

4 out of 5 stars I rented The Gingerdead Man last night. I think the Hollywood Video clerk smirked when I put my head down to find my membership card in my wallet, but I can't be sure. I was actually a bit excited about the movie. It's been a long time since I've seen new Full Moon blood. So, first out of the gate is a serial killin' cookie played by the drunk and scaryfunny Gary Busey. Obviously

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27880909.post-1147283550187253092006-05-10T13:23:00.000-04:002006-11-02T20:41:58.625-05:00

5 out of 5 starsI rented the Sci-Fi Channel version, William Shatner's Full Moon Fright Night Vol. 1: Vampire Journals. The DVD includes the original Full Moon Video featurette, a slew of trailers, and a Roadshow preview as well as the William Shatner stuff where the commercials would've been placed. Finally, and weirdly, the DVD includes Shatner interviewing Stan Lee.The movie is an offshoot of

platyjoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790300406061226940noreply@blogger.com1