Monday, May 15, 2006

Review: Witchouse (1999)

Tagline: "Evil Beyond Evil..."
2 out of 5 stars
I have a hard time with Dave DeCoteau movies, in general. Like most Albert Pyun suckfests, they drag, are confusing, and the gore is mishandled. Unfortunately, Witchouse is no different.
Set in Dunwich, MA, the film was shot at Full Moon's Castel Studios in Romania. Exteriors were shot in and around Bucharest.
Best Quote: Jack: "We're not in high school anymore, Bob. Why don't you put down the bong and realizet that!?"
There's not much to recommend here except for the sets and the Killjoy-ish teeth on the witches. The home wiring lesson from our applied-sciences major hero, Jack, is neat and actually becomes important later on....
I've got a laundry list of problems with the film, but I'll stick with 3 here:
1. The fake thunder and lightning is incessant. VERY, VERY ANNOYING. Only halfway through the movie and I was yelling at the screen...
2. The pace severely drags at several different points. So much of the movie is plot dumps and throwaway scenes that when anything resembling "film magic" happens you feel relieved. The "seance" is actually a 5-minute monologue. Ugh.
3. The deaths are really poorly executed (hehe, no pun I kill me!). Usually a Full Moon highlight, the deaths in this film are incredibly ill-shot and dull. The opening "knifings" are 8th grade level home movie quality.
The only reason this movie gets a "2" from me is because I think they tried.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brooke Mueller Is Alsome Number 1 Actress her name in the movie is Janet and Witchouse is a 10 out of a 10 that's pretty good for a low budget movie lilith the witch is cool full moon did a good job on the witch's make-up the best full moon film yet

12:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brooke Mueller is Hot buy this movie it is alsome

12:03 AM  
Blogger platyjoe said...

Well, I guess if you're really into Brooke Mueller (I've never seen her before or since), Witchouse would be a favorite movie of yours.

And I did mention Lilith's make-up as in the review: her teeth are the highlight of the film.

I don't really think you'll consider it the "best Fool Moon film yet" if you get around to some of their more lauded releases, where you can really see what the company was capable of.

2:59 PM  

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