Review: Trancers 4: Jack of Swords (1994)

3 out of 5 full moons.

In Trancers 4, we find Jack returning to the future (his present). He's got Shark's head as a lampshade now, and instead of a Trancer-hunter, he's now a timecop. Big whoop.

There seems to be a disturbance in the time continuum in Kansas and so Jack climbs into his little phone booth looking time-machine. He gets accosted by an alien and is sent, instead, to some alternate dimension where people are scared of some sword-wielding trancer nobles. Basically, he's sent to Full Moon studios in Romania where they can film both Trancers 4 and Trancers 5 at the same time to save money and be able to afford Thomerson.

Jack gets some sweet one-liners and some duds (you just know there's gonna be a "This doesn't look like Kansas" line). Unfortunately, Jack also gets his ass kicked. All the time. None of his James Bond gear works in this dimension, so he spends the whole movie getting beat up. Note: the bit with the long-second watch in reverse was hilarious.

Overall, the flick has high energy, a halfway decent script, some babes, and some funny action scenes. I think in the scheme of Trancers fans, you either like number 3 or number 4, but never both. I have always tended to err on the side of 4 and 5, but neither of them is that great a flick.

Other Reviews: Stomp Tokyo, shlntv.

Review: Bloodlust: Subspecies 3 (1994)

4 out of 5 full moons

Ok, so picking up right where we left off with Bloodstone, Bloodlust continues the story of blood-drooler Radu, lovely and newly-vampired Michelle, and Michelle's sister Rebecca. Also vampired up now is Liuetenant Marin.

Radu continues to be the star of the series, but Michelle gains serious momentum in this film. She portrays a new vampire with an anxiety that seems realistic for such an outlandish bunch of plots. The other actors round out a solid cast, but, of course, Anders Hove's Radu is the terribly engaging monstrosity that you can't get enough of.

Best Quote: Radu: "There is no love between the living and the dead. What you feel is hunger."

Amen, brother. These and some other cool-ass vampire lines are delivered with an almost Godfather-Brando quality of voice. Just for giggles, try them yourself, in your best Brando voice:

"See the fear pulsing in his veins. Drink. Savor his agony."

or,

"I have killed my father...my brother and my mother. I have wiped out my

entire bloodline for you. And what do you offer me in return?"

Anyhow, I gave it a four only because of the 10 minutes of unwelcome intrusion by Bob, the CIA guy. An armed siege againt a vampire's castle is kind of cool, but Bob has dead extra writte all over him.

Tips for the newly vampired:

1. Make sure when night falls, you wake up from your coffin first.

2. Don't drool out half the blood you suck.

3. Have someone guard you during the day.

4. Don't chain your enemies to walls with old, flimsy iron and then go to sleep.