Review: Bloodstorm: Subspecies 4 (1998)

5 out of 5 full moons

Since the series was originally planned as a trilogy, going into Bloodstorm I wasn't sure whether the fourth entry would be a useless appendage or a worthy contribution to the mythos.

It was obvious there would have to be a fairly lengthy and complicated resurrection of Radu: he was convincingly offed in the finale of Bloodlust. Instead of complication we get absurdity. His burning body falls into a river, the flames are doused, he sucks on the bloodstone a little and in broad daylight (he's a goddamn vampire!?) he stumbles across a field, into the castle, and makes for his crypt. One minute in and the film is seriously stumbling...

Alas, Ted Nicolaou hits his stride and makes directly for the goods. We get the introduction of smart and flaky Dr. Niculescu and Radu's lieutenant, the music-loving, upper-crust Ash. The storyline that follows lifts this sequel above the other two.

Best Quote: Ion: "Bullets are useless against a vampire." Lupo: "Even so, a false sense of security is better than no sense of security."

All in all, the best entry into the series. Makes you wish it would continue...

Why is Radu cool?

1. He's destroyed in increasingly convincing ways in each film, yet keeps getting back up.

2. He shows a girl how much he loves her by destroying his whole family and attempting to do the same to hers.

3. He drools blood. All the time.

4. Sometimes he sounds like the Godfather.

Review: Bloodlust: Subspecies 3 (1994)

4 out of 5 full moons

Ok, so picking up right where we left off with Bloodstone, Bloodlust continues the story of blood-drooler Radu, lovely and newly-vampired Michelle, and Michelle's sister Rebecca. Also vampired up now is Liuetenant Marin.

Radu continues to be the star of the series, but Michelle gains serious momentum in this film. She portrays a new vampire with an anxiety that seems realistic for such an outlandish bunch of plots. The other actors round out a solid cast, but, of course, Anders Hove's Radu is the terribly engaging monstrosity that you can't get enough of.

Best Quote: Radu: "There is no love between the living and the dead. What you feel is hunger."

Amen, brother. These and some other cool-ass vampire lines are delivered with an almost Godfather-Brando quality of voice. Just for giggles, try them yourself, in your best Brando voice:

"See the fear pulsing in his veins. Drink. Savor his agony."

or,

"I have killed my father...my brother and my mother. I have wiped out my

entire bloodline for you. And what do you offer me in return?"

Anyhow, I gave it a four only because of the 10 minutes of unwelcome intrusion by Bob, the CIA guy. An armed siege againt a vampire's castle is kind of cool, but Bob has dead extra writte all over him.

Tips for the newly vampired:

1. Make sure when night falls, you wake up from your coffin first.

2. Don't drool out half the blood you suck.

3. Have someone guard you during the day.

4. Don't chain your enemies to walls with old, flimsy iron and then go to sleep.

Review: Bloodstone: Subspecies 2 (1993)

4 out of 5 stars

So, with a minor hit on his hands, Band sends Ted Nicolaou back to Romania to film two more Subspecies flicks to complete a trilogy. Most of the first cast is unavailable, the notable exception being our boogieman Anders Hove (Radu). Presto!, and we get Bloodstone.

The film picks up right where the first ends, and we get our first taste of Radu getting put back together (remember, there are two more sequels after this). The plot centers around Radu and his mom, the mummified sorcerer alluded to in the original whom he calls "mummy", and Michelle, the newly minted vampire hottie whom Radu so desires.

Michelle is played by Full Moon regular Denice Duff this time around, and she does a really fantastic job going through the wants, needs, and pains associated with being a new vampire. Of course, Anders Hove is the center of the Subspecies universe and he turns in another spectacularly manic performance.

Best quote: Radu: "I bring you a sacred gift...the blood of my father. The king is...but a memory."

So, the travails of the newly vampired: Michelle gets found "dead" in the bathtub of her hotel room during the day, and quickly escapes her body bag when night falls. We then are introduced to a police character: Lieutenant Marin, a bumbling sandwich-eating amalgamation of every 60's TV private eye you've seen.

Her sister arrives from the states and forms a bond with the US embassy man as they try to find Michelle, and all sorts of running around Bucharest and the Vladislava castle ensue. The plot is just good enough to provide filler between scenes as we wait for more Radu and his mom.

Tips for Vampire Hunters:

1. No sleeping in on the day of the hunt. If you wait until late afternoon to go after a vampire, chances are your prey will awaken right as you are about to drive that stake through his heart.

2. No metal! Use wood, dummy!

3. No walking backwards in dark, creepy vampire-infested places. Duh.

Other reviews: Darkness Embraced, eSplatter, Subspecies Fan Page.

Review: Subspecies (1991)

5 out of 5 stars

Radu is the baddest vampire since Orlok. He's got wonderfully snaggly teeth, a filthy mother-of-pearl pallor, long creepy fingers, and three little devil beasties (the subspecies of Subspecies) to help him out. Even better, he spits out his dialogue in throaty demonic whispers. And, just as Orlok did, he staggers about like a gin drunk.

Best Quote: Radu: "Such a touching tableau. Your pain, little brother, makes me sick."

The film follows the father-slayer Radu Vladislava as he sets about creating a consort from three lovely students visiting Transylavania to complete dissertations on Romanian folklore. The setting is superb, and the cinematography far surpasses regular Full Moon fare. There are many sets involved and a fairly large cast. The film is well-acted and even features Angus Scrimm in the brief role of Radu's pops.

While all three women, and their protector, Radu's brother Steffan, put in good performances, there is no way they can compare to Anders Hove's scene-munching performance as the chief blood-drooler. He's almost too over the top, but he succeeds masterfully in walking the fine line and delivering a first rate performance.

The only problem I have with the film, is a five-minute series of poorly-edited scenes when the girls begin getting picked off by Radu. Other than that, the pacing is superb, and really builds to an exciting climax.

The gore effects are great, and the vampires look thouroughly disgusting.

While Puppet Master and Re-animator got me interested in Band and Co. many moons ago, the Subspecies series really delivers the goods, and has kept me a fan.

Review: Decadent Evil (2005)

2 of 5 stars

Another 2-star flick, this one part of the newer incarnation of Full Moon, called Full Moon Features, a subsidiary of Wizard Entertainment. Another 70-minute movie, if you count the long credits and the stock footage from Vampire Journals.

The plot for Decadent Evil is easy enough to follow, since the whole plot is divulged in a boring series of plot dumps and throwaway scenes that make up most of the movie.

Best Quote: Dex: "Alright guys, take your hands out of your pants and put them together for Cashmere. And, remember tipping is not a country in China...."

I can't believe I thought this, but: the opening strip club scene is way too long, or way too boring, or mostly some of both. Luckily there are just enough highlights to get you through to the superb ending.

Phil Fondacaro has a few good lines, but is a pretty inept "badass vampire killer" carrying a big duffel bag with nothing more than some garlic powder, and two dull, wooden stakes. The other highlight would be the terrible written opening kills with the Joe Pesci soundalike and his reluctant-to-go-to-a-stripclub-and-get-in-a-threesome girl.

And then we get to the ending. An ending I could never get enough of. A laugh-out-loud ending that ranks as one of the best cinematic denouments of all time!

Other reviews: ColdFusion, the Horror Channel.

Review: Vampire Journals (1997)

5 out of 5 stars

I rented the Sci-Fi Channel version, William Shatner's Full Moon Fright Night Vol. 1: Vampire Journals. The DVD includes the original Full Moon Video featurette, a slew of trailers, and a Roadshow preview as well as the William Shatner stuff where the commercials would've been placed. Finally, and weirdly, the DVD includes Shatner interviewing Stan Lee.

The movie is an offshoot of director Ted Nicolaou's excellent Subspecies series. It features vampires from Master Radu's bloodline and the fairly complex plotlines of the film explore the relationships between master vampires (in this case, Ash) and others of their line. Nicolaou makes mention a few times of integrating Vampire Journals with the classic Subspecies themes to create a crossover at some point in the future; but it's possible all hope of such a film was lost during the Full Moon wane of the 2000's.

The pacing of Vampire Journals is excellent, though much slower and less gorier than Nicolaou's Subspecies work. A decayed, gothic feel is sustained throughout, with highbrow dialogue and subtle plot shifts. Most of the sideplots are resolved well before the ending, but all of them help depict the decay of master Ash's powers.

The main plot of the film centers around the "hero" vampire, Zachary, who has sworn to wipe out Radu's bloodline. He's traveled to Bucharest to hunt out the "music-lover", Ash. They square off over a pianist, and the rest is good watching.

The plot is interesting until the ending standoff, which is so terribly out of place, boring, and quick that it almost ruins the film. It doesn't; and more importantly, it leaves plenty of room for some sort of sequel. And, if there's room for a sequel or a crossover, Full Moon is a company that will give it a shot. Hopefully, Nicolaou is still interested. Considering that Vampire Journals was the first choice entry for the Shatner-hosted Sci-Fi Channel show, its a good bet the film carries a significant place in the heart of Full Moon.

One final comment: Vampire Journals and other top shelf Full Moon fare is the reason I've waded through every dreadful Albert Pyun suckfest in the catolog. You never know when you'll come across a gem.